Unhappy day

Damn fucking sugars. I try so hard. so hard and I get so emotional and I have no outlet. I've relied on people too much and i've pushed the rest away and like these high sugars are making me over analyze. I've had three major high's in the past two days. 26, 22, and 20 :(
I swear to god i'mma stop eating until my sugars cooperate with me. I could stand to lose a few lbs. Why can't I be happy. :"(

Aug. 28, 2012

Hey :)
Soooo I have a laptop :)
Which means between my busy days and free time I can post more...(yay!!!!)
I've been legit loosin my shit at everyone lately and I need an outlet. Seeing that everyone is pretty much sick of my shit but ya know whatever i'm really trying.
Anyways hmmm.
I suppose i'll start off by wishing a happy birthday to someone :) Even though it was a few days ago...I thought it may have come across stalkerish or whatever but I have nothing to lose :) Sooo yeah!
Hmmm well yeah right now i'm pretty much going through all my sites and saving my passwords and stuff hahaah hard stuff :P It's like starting from scratch ! but I have to say I like this computerish :P
Anyhowww I'm off to do just that and i'll prob write something tomorrow or the next!
Ciaoo

Aug 18

Hey
Wooo what a busy month!
Ive been soo busy that I've had no time for anything other than work and sleep.
Legit these two jobs are tiring hehe! I work 9-4 at one and 5-11at the other almost every single day!
Surprisingly I've gained 10 lbs. Everyone says how good I look and what odds. I personally have that voice keep saying that i'm not. I've gotten stronger lately, or maybe i'm so numbed out that I think I am. Whatever the reason i'm good :) I keep reliving the past and ya know what? everything in the past can stay there.
Hmm anyways I dont wanna focus on the negativee. I always do and i'm well aware of my delusional thoughts and wrong ways of thinking. I know. I think if terrace calls I'll consider if I can get someone I click with. Now as toward the nursing... I dont think I can. I'm too weak and indecisive to go back but who knows lol
O Oooooo! I'm a blondie now! hehehe I likes it but I think I prefer my brown. :)
I'm so tired and worn out to type anything long today but I wanted a check in to prove im still alive :P Still kicking heheh
Anyways off to watch some skins!
Ciao!