Hey!
Merry Christmas and a Happy new year!
Well seeing its Christmas, i'll start off at that!
Had a pretty decent X-mas, I've been good this year so I got lots of goodies ;) lol
Got a X-box kinect with a dancing game, clothes, shoes, chocolate, games. All that good stuff.
Got my 2 beautiful rats a 3-level cage, the girls love it! and got Bo a 12 squeaker doggie toy :D
Been pretty busy for the past week that i've hardly been on the computer :O Big shockerrr!
But its for the best, got my exercise being up and on the go! I've also been able to eat chocolate without having to many freak outs...had one last night. So I never ate a full meal since 5 yesterday, ate little bits of chocolate between. So i'm going 19 hours without having a full meal, feeling fine. Oh also tdue to the fact I had sugars at 12-14mmols yesterday can account for me not eating. I had this logic in my head that if I give myself insulin, that it makes me gain weight so I try to limit using insulin to bring my sugars down.
Besides that i'm proud of how i'm reacting to the high fat food :)
Well thats a little blurb about how this busy week is going!
I'll def have another blog before 2012!!!!
Bye! xx
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Friday, December 23, 2011
December 23, 2011
Hey!
Ok total spin-off from my other 2 blogs, but what odds.
I'm going to base this blog on eating disorders. As I stated before i'm medically classified as having anorexia, whether I believe I do or not is my own humble opinion, just to put it out there though I don't believe I have one. Why? Welll...
- I don't starve myself - I consider it dieting by eat healthier
- I eat when I'm hungry - I think I have extremely good control of what I eat so I don't go overboard
But I do display these |symptoms|
-I think I'm fat even though i've lost 40-50lbs in the past 1yr and a half..Went from 170lbs to a current 127lbs
- I'm 5'7 so 127lbs is considered normal weight for my age and height.
- I previously purged once or twice...due to the fact I ate a high fattening food.
- I always look at the contents of what I eat but that is because I'm diabetic also.
- I eat about roughly 15-45 carbs a meal...Usually 20 carbs. So of slice of bread with peanut butter
I can legit say that I can look at other "anorexics "smaller" than me and say I want to look like them and I don't see that they obviously look sick. I like to see my bones, it reassures me that fat isn't covering them in layers.
I DON'T Purge after everything I eat and eat only a slice of carrot a day. I eat roughly 3-5 times a day sometimes. I don't eat i'd i'm not doing anything.
Ok now to elaborate on the people I considered not to look "sick"
- Portia de rossi...I didn't think she looked sick. I think she did and still do look good :)
- Dana on the documentary Dana the 8 yr old anorexic...I thought she looked like a normal kid, def not sick
Now there are those people that are literally skeletons and I see that as sick.
Well thats my opinion on that! Sure it wont be the last but I promise next time it will be in a form of a youtube video :P
Ciao cherrioss!
Ok total spin-off from my other 2 blogs, but what odds.
I'm going to base this blog on eating disorders. As I stated before i'm medically classified as having anorexia, whether I believe I do or not is my own humble opinion, just to put it out there though I don't believe I have one. Why? Welll...
- I don't starve myself - I consider it dieting by eat healthier
- I eat when I'm hungry - I think I have extremely good control of what I eat so I don't go overboard
But I do display these |symptoms|
-I think I'm fat even though i've lost 40-50lbs in the past 1yr and a half..Went from 170lbs to a current 127lbs
- I'm 5'7 so 127lbs is considered normal weight for my age and height.
- I previously purged once or twice...due to the fact I ate a high fattening food.
- I always look at the contents of what I eat but that is because I'm diabetic also.
- I eat about roughly 15-45 carbs a meal...Usually 20 carbs. So of slice of bread with peanut butter
I can legit say that I can look at other "anorexics "smaller" than me and say I want to look like them and I don't see that they obviously look sick. I like to see my bones, it reassures me that fat isn't covering them in layers.
I DON'T Purge after everything I eat and eat only a slice of carrot a day. I eat roughly 3-5 times a day sometimes. I don't eat i'd i'm not doing anything.
Ok now to elaborate on the people I considered not to look "sick"
- Portia de rossi...I didn't think she looked sick. I think she did and still do look good :)
- Dana on the documentary Dana the 8 yr old anorexic...I thought she looked like a normal kid, def not sick
Now there are those people that are literally skeletons and I see that as sick.
Well thats my opinion on that! Sure it wont be the last but I promise next time it will be in a form of a youtube video :P
Ciao cherrioss!
Monday, December 19, 2011
December 19, 2011
Hey! Well its a late night again and unlike last time i'm not in the chirpiest mood. What caused this mood? Well let me tell ya! I had my Cap & gown grad. where I received my diploma...if that was amazing enough it brought back memories of how I fucking hated , wait no....despised high school. Well the night went best kind got my diploma and crap and sat through a ridiculously long ceremony...then I started to grow increasingly more and more pissed off. Mudder didn't get clear pictures so I had to re-gown and take lovely happy pictures to satisfy herself. Got that over with. so then I went on the search for my old teachers that I liked. Let me tell you I had alot of teacher crushes like....Ms...( Now mrs..:@) MacIntyre :) Sub. , Ms conway who was a math sub, Ms. Coombs who taught me Level 1 math, Lamedeer who was my Religion intern, anddddd Lesley raymond who was an intern but she had my name for a Macbeth tagging game in level 3...So she caught my interest :), oh and the french sub ms.joanne march....I had it out for all the young female teachers/interns that stepped into my school :P.
Well that clearly just brightened my evening up alittle bit but I shall explain why i'm super pissed. And that is because of the yearbook...I had a falling out with my friends and everything and what I wrote for the yearbook is complete bullshit. Reason being that my "friends" I had when i wrote it, mentioned nothing about me But I made sure to mention them. And my other friends that I wasn't talking to at that time wrote nothing about me either...which is completely understandable.duh! But the whole yearbook thing just set me off tonight. Like I know I was a bitch through Jr. high and High School but I admitted to that and I still came out being the bad guy in this whole situation and I ended up losing in the end.
Now that all thats off my chest I feel abit better...oh one more thing, The one person I really wanted to talk to, I never :( Ms. Bourgeous.... I told her on grad night about my eating disorder and she felt really concerned but she never seemed concerned tonight, maybe it was because others were around I don't know but I thought of her ever since she said that :) Gave me strength.
On a positive note my old ches's buddy Rach is having a girl early 2012 :) I totally want to reconnect with her and my buddy ryan :) Rekindle some friendship sparks :D Well Thats all I have to rant about for today anyhow. This was totally unexpected and a very long blog! Well peace!
Well that clearly just brightened my evening up alittle bit but I shall explain why i'm super pissed. And that is because of the yearbook...I had a falling out with my friends and everything and what I wrote for the yearbook is complete bullshit. Reason being that my "friends" I had when i wrote it, mentioned nothing about me But I made sure to mention them. And my other friends that I wasn't talking to at that time wrote nothing about me either...which is completely understandable.duh! But the whole yearbook thing just set me off tonight. Like I know I was a bitch through Jr. high and High School but I admitted to that and I still came out being the bad guy in this whole situation and I ended up losing in the end.
Now that all thats off my chest I feel abit better...oh one more thing, The one person I really wanted to talk to, I never :( Ms. Bourgeous.... I told her on grad night about my eating disorder and she felt really concerned but she never seemed concerned tonight, maybe it was because others were around I don't know but I thought of her ever since she said that :) Gave me strength.
On a positive note my old ches's buddy Rach is having a girl early 2012 :) I totally want to reconnect with her and my buddy ryan :) Rekindle some friendship sparks :D Well Thats all I have to rant about for today anyhow. This was totally unexpected and a very long blog! Well peace!
Saturday, December 17, 2011
December 17, 2011
Hey! Ok So it's December 17 and it's 10:50 pm, This is going to be an akward first blog but here it goes. I'll start off by saying that i'm Melissa and i'm 18 yrs old and a first semester LPN student (so SPN). Being a nursing student is definitely secondary to making this blog, so I can look back in a year and see how far i've come. As of this very moment i've survived my first semester exams, including 2 mid-terms and a final, my first clinical rotation in acute care and now i'm advancing onto my second semester in January next year in 2012!!! I would have never made it past exams if it wasn't for my classmates though, they've stressed to everyone how important it is to stay positive through the rough times, and we've become closer these past 3 months.
For now though the positive is Christmas break!!!!!! So i'm going to stop talking about school until next year!
As for my non school life I live at home with my family. My sister, mom, the other one, and my beautiful boy Bo (dog) and my two gorgeous girls Penelope and Pashmina(rats). As for the story behind the other one, I don't particularly like talking about him but he's my father. Alot has gone down the past year with me and him and our relationship has been thrown away like trash. Which had alot to do with my eating disorder, which I was diagnosed with in april. I'm better, but there was a lot of conflict and uneasiness with that subject around him. But I'm not going to let that stop me from trying to overcome this anorexia stuff! Besides anorexia i'm type 1 diabetic which i've had for almost 4 years. These past few years have been tough! I'm constantly learning day to day about becoming more trusting, to become more assertive, and to complain less and listen more :P I am shy, until I get to know you then I have a bit of a problem only talking about myself, I think so anyways. I'm aware of it though so thats another thing i'm working on improving abit and also to become more aware of my non verbal actions, which have gotten me into some crap with people.
Well I think this is a good starting point to branch off of in my future blogging moments! Hope I haven't bore'd any poor soul that is reading this but if i have then I'm sorry for the therapy you may have to recieve, just kidding. The countdown to Christmas begins...7 more days :) Ciao!
For now though the positive is Christmas break!!!!!! So i'm going to stop talking about school until next year!
As for my non school life I live at home with my family. My sister, mom, the other one, and my beautiful boy Bo (dog) and my two gorgeous girls Penelope and Pashmina(rats). As for the story behind the other one, I don't particularly like talking about him but he's my father. Alot has gone down the past year with me and him and our relationship has been thrown away like trash. Which had alot to do with my eating disorder, which I was diagnosed with in april. I'm better, but there was a lot of conflict and uneasiness with that subject around him. But I'm not going to let that stop me from trying to overcome this anorexia stuff! Besides anorexia i'm type 1 diabetic which i've had for almost 4 years. These past few years have been tough! I'm constantly learning day to day about becoming more trusting, to become more assertive, and to complain less and listen more :P I am shy, until I get to know you then I have a bit of a problem only talking about myself, I think so anyways. I'm aware of it though so thats another thing i'm working on improving abit and also to become more aware of my non verbal actions, which have gotten me into some crap with people.
Well I think this is a good starting point to branch off of in my future blogging moments! Hope I haven't bore'd any poor soul that is reading this but if i have then I'm sorry for the therapy you may have to recieve, just kidding. The countdown to Christmas begins...7 more days :) Ciao!
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