Hey
It's been awhile.
I can't do this anymore.
I'm such a horrible disgusting human being. I make my way through just to cause destruction and heartbreak into every-bodies lives.
My girlfriend doesn't need this. I'm making her unhappy but she loves me so much that she lets it slide. The one time that she couldn't be there for me and I lose it at her. Telling her that I don't wanna move out with her anymore and that i'm ruining her life so I might as well end mine. And how she should kick me to the curb. And how I hate myself so much that i'm gonna hurt myself so bad that i have cuts everywhere.
I don't know. I'm making something out of nothing. There is nothing medically wrong with my head. It's like i'm pushing her to break up with me so i can basically kill myself. I cannot see myself having a good job, kids, a life. I see myself hurting everyone around me and causing pain.
I just wanna give up I hate hurting her. I know how I want out. And theres no issue of me pursuing it only the fact i promised her i'd never commit suicide when I was with her.
That's my speal for now..
Ciao
