Hey
Isn't it funny how I've spend every little inch of strength I had to get better and I have been "better" for a while. But I wanna ruin it. I'm selfish. I have people that love me, shouldn't that be enough in my conceded head? I just wanna hurt myself. I wanna starve myself and cut and just throw myself in the gaabage. Life is so god damn exhausting and I've become such a horrible person that I shouldn't even be here anymore.
I've completely lost anyone outside of family that I've ever met or befriended...why? I have no idea, maybe my constant whining or trolling or my hypocritical comments. Maybe the fact I honestly stopped giving two shits about anyone because in some way or another they've hurt me. Everythings pointing back to me. Why did my beautiful gf build me up so much so I just bring others down. People annoy me. I annoy myself. I have no idea where this came from but it just appeared. In a small way I feel like i'm being controlled. I've never noticed until I've had time alone on here. Facebook, tumblr and other social sites are frowned upon. I dunno It's good i guess because i can't handle drama but I dunno. I'm gone off into another world for abit, writing never was my forte.
Ciao\
Melissa
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