February 11, 2012

Hey!
So this week i've discovered or re-discovered how stubborn and how much of a bad liar I am plus I just friggin love self diagnosing myself  ...ok not really but it has but light to some problems.
Ok first off! Well I can say it a million times that I have a gf and in the right context I will tell everyone..But my high school prom date. I know he likes me..I don't like him. So he legit just called 2 minutes ago asking me to hang on Valentines day. Buttttt I'm booked up with my beautiful sexy girlfriend for the night. Simple right? Nope because he has no idea that I'm a lesbian. Soooo he has been making moves on me that i've simply flat out rejected, but he must think the only reasons a girl would hang with him would be for relationship material...Nope sorry Buddy. Well I won't be able to stay friends with him if this is going to be an interference with our supposed friendship. Not to be a bitch about the situation but I can't be around this behaviour..it drives me crazy...Crazy men....men are idiots.
Ok and on to the second topic! Self diagnosing. Well before I got my ass kicked out of nursing school we were learning about mental health so i picked up a few things. Now i'm sure med students think they have these crazy diseases and convince themselves they do have it from the symptoms but this is alittle different. I found out that I had "voices" in my head when I was younger. Not exactly voices but loud deafening screaming that would actually drive you. But I never knew this was abnormal I thought that I was being sooky and I kind of punished my self by yelling. But it wasn't actually me? Ok I prob lost anyone reading this. How I know this is the other day i was having a very low low day! And for the first time and I say in a couple years I had this intense yelling not actually yelling anything particular but just yelling. Anyways I recall one memory as a child where it was me as a little girl in the corner...seeing myself now but it felt like the whole room was becoming bigger and kind of smothering me with this yelling on top of it. Gibberish mostly. Anyhow Could be nothing or it could be something. Who knows!  I don't want a one way ticket to the loonie bin ( not to be disrespectful).
Well thats my lil blurb for today! I'm sure they'll be another soon enough! :) Kinda my online diary, seeing I hate handwriting :D Well See ya ! ciao!