February 27, 2012

Hey
Ok i'll make is short and hopefully simple today :)
Well i'm in a totally better mood...took me a few days and obviously stuck home alone with no contact with anybody was NOT the answer. Made me feel a gazillion times worse. But I'm over that hump once again and I really don't wanna slide back down. Well half way up the hump i mean because if i'm using a metaphor might as well be accurate :D But yeah I drank, I sooked, I was unreasonable, I lashed out. And now I'm o.k. Sorry for those I was soo uncooperative too but I don't like anybody telling me what to do. Or trying to tell me I can't do something.
Well I got a job interviewish type thing today, So I hope all goes well with that. But for back up i'm passing out some more resumes with miss allie :) I'm trying to get on the right track, always was. I just feel this strong urge to rebel and then things the hard way. And with saying I wanted to die and not live, yeah those were the feelings I had, but I had lots of opportunities to do something and I didn't. Soo :)
I want to focus on the positive, because I spend to much on the negative... I know it's there but I've trying dealing with it and i'm taking a break from it for now. Or until I find the main problem then tackle it instead of trying to fight all my problems at one time, which I was doing. I obviously lost that battle :P
Ok. So it seemed all I needed was to stop trying to convince everyone that I was this selfish good for nothing human being and to just be like fuck it. You don't like me fine. I'm going to hang with you, but ya know what you say doesn't and is not going influence me or my mood. I understand that I care too much. About everything and i'm not going to stop just because something bad happened :)
Well i'm off to print off resumes and then for an interview :)
Ciao amigos!