February 21, 2012

Hey
Back to the "skinny" subject.
All day all i've heard was how small I am. Well actually more like the past few months.. here it is
I can see your hip bones
I can see your ribs
I can see your collarbones and chest bones.
Your face is so small now
Your soo tiny
I hardly see you eat
Your diet is horrible
Your starving your body
Your diabetes trouble is from your "eating".
But like I don't think i'm small. But I do see my hip bones and ribs sometimes, I'm not starving myself.
If I choose to drink only diet drinks to fill me up soo what? I do and can eat alot of food in one setting and not get sick over it.
I'm doing this so I can become healthy. I don't need to gain weight because then I'll see the negative of eating more and I really don't want to look like I did when I was younger. I was fat.
I'm not doing this in spite, or to prove I can. I'm doing this because I like to be smaller, but i'm just not seeing it. I see that I can wear size Small clothes now and they are baggy on me. But It's like I can see my big hips and bulging stomach, my flabby arms, my triple chins, my fat feet.
I do like my legs, I find they are toned :)
It's just hard when everybody see's something that you don't.
So today for supper I had veggies, fruit, ice cream, lasagna, and diet root beer :) A balanced meal, but I was way to full after. So I worked it off with 5 sets of 20 sit-ups. First bit of exercise I did in a long time!
So It's a sour/sweet time tonight :) proud of my supper plans :) Not so happy about my appearance and it's hard to see everybody being so worried.
Ok So I'll try to work on this I suppose, I just don't wanna have a backtrack :(
We'll see how it goes :)
Ciao!