March 21, 2012

Hey
Ok I don't get it how people can be soo mean. Well I can't say i'm perfect and i've definitely had my share of being mean, but I've never directly pointed out to someone that they were ugly. Never! Unless they were being mean to me when I was younger or just kidding with my friends, but I have never went up to some girl or boy and said your really freaking ugly.
But I have on several lots of occasions gotten that. I've had my cousin come straight up to my face and call me a fat cow. I've been picked on since I was younger about my ugly appearance. Then I had people in my defensive always reassuring me that I was beautiful and that they were jealous. Ok cut it out now. I'm older and  I don't need people to keep commenting on my appearance. Saying i'm beautiful just to boost the little self esteem I have. Ok I see myself in the mirror, I see my fugly face, the fat rolls everwhere. I'm in no definition beautiful or pretty or that. The funny thing is people can call me whatever...ugly, fat but their words don't directly impact me so much. It's my own mind and thinking that tears me down.
I'm never gonna be a model i've faced that. Mom said when I was younger I was too big to be a model. She can deny it now all she wants but she said it, whether she was mad or just stating the truth. She said it.  I'll re-allborate more later have to go! Ciao!