Old note

Hey
So I found this old note I wrote about a year ago. Kinda shows how I felt then and how I feel now. Pretty much the damn same. I'm guessing I was just after being diagnosed with anorexia, I wrote this is school actually. So it's a pretty negative note.
Here it is.

April.11/11
Lies, self harm, and hate, unworthy, stupid, failure, annoying. Some words that come to mind when I think of myself.
May will be a good month for everyone, grad, parties.
For me, not a time of new beginnings but an end.
Hanging?, O.D, Slicing, a combo of things that I plan will happen. Dress up nice, go to an unknown place and silence. I don't feel loved no, I feel the same for others, nobody knows how much I hurt, if they do they don't let on. I don't want the publicity or attention. That isn't my purpose.
I don't have anorexia so I don't believe those that tell me so.

Nobody ever saw this. Obviously this blog has shed light on how I feel so that's no surprise.
Tonight is just another hard night. I want to talk but I don't feel like bugging people to listen. Like who really wants to hear this negativity. Blah Well I'm just gonna sit here and watch the fat on me multiply.
Ciao.